wythersake: (Default)
blonde billy #2 ([personal profile] wythersake) wrote2018-03-11 05:21 am

Inbox 1.0


-> inbox archived, moved here
libratus: (and we said our prayers)

[personal profile] libratus 2018-12-09 06:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The door shuts neatly behind him, and he follows, eyes drawn in to the negative space. When they'd first moved into the Necropolis, he'd marveled at that, Clio filling her room to bursting with a life's accumulation of knicknacks and books and brightly colored settees, and his like this. More room than he'd known what to do with. (He'd taken smaller quarters, after.)

He'd rather be talking about that, than this.

He shouldn't have another cigarette. Doesn't want to test the steadiness of his hands just now. In place of either, he lets out an exhale, bracing. ]


You did something on the field that— [ Bones warping beneath stretching skin— ] That they don't teach in Circles.

I don't think anyone else saw. [ But he had. And hadn't said a word, even when they'd spoken of heads and platters. Might never have said a word. ] But I need to ask you why you learned it.

[ Not how, or where, or from whom. Why. ]
libratus: (that every dead is ate by worms)

[personal profile] libratus 2018-12-10 03:30 am (UTC)(link)
[ There are times when Ilias will avert his eyes from other people's vulnerabilities, out of politeness or respect; this isn't one. He can't afford for it to be, fights the desire to reassure this man he doesn't want to be a threat to, to just believe whatever his fallible heart wants to believe instead of what's in front of him: that Isaac's first instinct is to hide, here as much as on the road from Ghislain; that he's not as practiced at it as some.

'An accident' can mean a lot of things. ]


No.

[ Existed near, perhaps. Been accessory to. Dipped cloth into stream and told himself the water wasn't running red, would stop running red soon, but didn't fight. ]

Not in the way you mean.
libratus: (and you go lay down on the track)

[personal profile] libratus 2018-12-10 04:54 am (UTC)(link)
A creature's body contorting beyond recognition beneath your hand, is what I saw.

[ There could be disgust in those words; odder perhaps that Ilias's voice is entirely devoid of it. That even poised on the edge of chain-smoking himself into an early grave, he can talk about the active mutilation of a living being like they're discussing a painting in a gallery. That he can't talk about it any other way. ]

I am not asking if it can be used in self-defense. [ He was fighting an ogre; they were losing a war. ] I am asking why that is the skill you chose to develop.

[ If there was a preexisting fascination. For example. ]
libratus: (73)

cool cool cool

[personal profile] libratus 2018-12-10 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
libratus: (one time two times three times again)

cool cool cool cool

[personal profile] libratus 2018-12-10 06:28 am (UTC)(link)
libratus: (I'm on my way to hell)

cool cool cool cool cool

[personal profile] libratus 2018-12-10 06:28 am (UTC)(link)
[ It's Ilias's turn to go very, very still. ]

I'm sorry, are you suggesting— [ careful, delicate syllables, ] You would have rather studied this, from the very beginning?

[ Is this just his life now. ]
libratus: (78)

[personal profile] libratus 2018-12-10 05:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Do you really think--

Yes, yes he did, and the relief that he might not have to keep thinking that breaks visibly across his face, not as a held breath released so much as whatever adrenaline had been holding him together cutting out. A hand presses to his forehead to stop it trembling.

I don't know if anyone else--

He doesn't laugh, but it's a near thing, bubbling to a choked, bitter sort of noise between pressed-closed lips. He knows. Knows and can't say a fucking word. Presses his eyes closed instead. ]


I had to ask, Isaac. [ It sounds like an apology; not a good one. ] I just need to be sure, that it is something you do out of necessity, and not--

[ You know. Fun. ]
libratus: (I don't think that you've got to pretend)

[personal profile] libratus 2018-12-11 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
[ No, is the answer his eyes give. When he'd come here, perhaps that had been the plan, after he'd asked the questions he'd needed to ask and gotten the answers he hoped for, but now that he has — how can he drag Isaac any further into this? (Doesn't he owe him a fucking explanation, after all that?)

Instead of words, his gaze drops. Hands, too, to his pocket, fishing out a simple circle of beads strung to a long cylindrical clasp. Has to press them hard against his coat to get at the fastener one-handed, fingers slipping on the clasp, but he breathes and (pull yourself together) sets to unscrewing it. ]


I will handle it. [ A preface. An easy out, for when at the end of this Isaac still wants him gone — from this room, from his life. ]

I trusted someone I should not have, once. It went very poorly. [ It's the thinnest sliver of the story. It's not a lie. (It went very poorly, and he needs to ask now if his would-be lovers enjoy deforming live darkspawn; he can't just tell.) ] But he was dead. Years ago, I was so sure that he was dead.

But either I am losing my fucking mind, or— [ Or he isn't. Is it crazier to wish for a hallucination, or to have one? One end of the bracelet swings free. ] I hoped that I could trust you to just— tell me which. Please.

[ Please. A hand extended, the beads offered in a white nuckled fist. Within the hollow cylinder of its clasp, a small, very old vial of clouded glass and red. It's not Circle standard issue. It's easier to hand a Templar than a story about twisting bones. ]
Edited (icon indecision) 2018-12-11 05:48 (UTC)
libratus: (I want to kill and eat my young)

[personal profile] libratus 2018-12-11 08:24 am (UTC)(link)
[ Alive. It feels like— something. Finality. A decision. Dread (hope?) flooding his limbs with weightless cold, but at least he can breathe around the damage when he knows its shape. How and why matter less than the fact of it, neatly reducing every nonessential to background noise.

He ought to cut ties now, while there's still time. He ought to follow it, try to finish this again, or just run and run and run, but what he's doing is standing here in front of Isaac's fireplace, surveying his own wreckage.

He reaches to take the phial back, his hand steadier. –Doesn't rush to pull away again. Can't quite find it in him. ]


Thank you. [ In case there isn't another chance to say it. ] Not just for this.
libratus: (I see god in birds)

[personal profile] libratus 2018-12-16 08:25 am (UTC)(link)
[ A different sort of stillness settles in his eyes; slows breath.

This is not Ilias's finest moment. Isaac has seen him finer. This is shaking to pieces and not being sure how to pull himself back together again. This is vulnerability with a blast radius; the sort anyone in their right mind keeps away from. Not the sort you treat gently.

And yet.

His thumb shifts to find the line of Isaac's jaw. Brows pitch; You have terrible taste. But instead of saying so, instead of saying anything at all that might tilt the delicate balance of this moment, he steps in and presses a kiss to Isaac's lips. ]
libratus: (god knows that I've tried)

[personal profile] libratus 2018-12-27 07:34 am (UTC)(link)
[ What does he want?

The hand beneath Isaac's doesn't move first; it's the other that lifts to meet it, two fingers reaching between hand and cloth to draw out that glowing bit of glass, lower it to tuck back into a pocket. Defining a positive with a negative. Not this.

(The first time he'd let anyone else touch him, it'd been like trying to scrape off his own skin, raking other people's hands over every bit of him that had learned to want just one, as if the only way to disentangle himself was to shed what he'd been before. Become something new.)

(He doesn't feel disentangled now. He feels like the thing doing the entangling, vines reaching for bricks to twist into against the wind. That's probably not important.)

Isaac doesn't need directions, but Ilias's eyes light at the prospect of giving them, curious in turn what exactly he expects. Shyness? Politeness? Fingers beneath fingers lead up to the collar of his robes, always so tightly buttoned, and unfasten the clasp at the very top -- and the next, and the next, a shaky breath pulled in or released between each, until there's room to slide his hand in around ribs, skin against skin.

(There's a scar, thin white and too clean from the hollow of his throat down, that he tries not to touch at all.) ]
libratus: (and satan in long words)

[personal profile] libratus 2019-01-13 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
[ A low laugh hums in his throat, even as his head tilts back to bare that vulnerability too. It is a shit angle. The accommodating bend of his knee does nothing to help matters, either — but they're not apprentices relegated to balancing acts in awkward alcoves any longer.

A decision is made; a heated murmur near his ear, and a touch sliding greedily round the back of his neck to the midline, to keep Isaac near as he takes a reluctant step back, ]
Follow me?

[ Convenient, that there isn't more furniture in this room after all: a destination, and not much to trip over along the way. ]