You know it isn't, [ finally bitten out -- is that better? (Is that what he needs, too? To stop trying so hard to make this wound bloodless.) ]

I want you both. Is that what you want to me to admit?

[ Sounds miserable to say it, raw; more real, too. ]

I know it is selfish. I know that being with you makes me happy and being alone with him made me want to bury us both in the fucking dirt. But I know I'm less without him, too.